There are days when sometimes I feel like all I ever do is talk. Words and phrases flow from my lips without any thought behind them. My mouth becomes a babbling brook of thoughtless prose. It's like I'll be giving my sister a compliment on the super cute sweater she just bought from Old Navy, and in my mind all I can hear is "I can wear that to dinner next Friday! It's perfect; not too casual, not too dressy..." An empty sentence of compliance is all I have to offer, because of my own selfish gain. It happens to the best of us. We just blurt out whatever appealing words are at the tips of our tongues, regardless of meaning. It's the same way in our relationship with God. We wake up everyday, given this new gift of life and we go about our business, maybe we'll say a quick prayer as we drive to work, but its never more than a few words of "thanks." What good are these words without thought or action behind them! Or we got to church every Sunday, sit front row, and listen to Scott preach the beautiful Word, and we nod our heads when a word like "grace" or "mercy" or "faith" pops into the sermon. I don't think all of us really grasp that "grace" and "mercy" and "thanks" and "faith" aren't nouns. They're verbs. Verb. A word that represents an action or a state of being. As Christians, sometimes we fall into this trap where we get caught up in the words we feel we have to say to sound, well for lack of a better term, "Christian." Our prayers become more mumbo jumbo than meaningful. We forget that what it means to BE grace, to BE mercy, to BE thanks, to BE faith. We fall the shortest when it comes to BEING faith. Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." For me, that's an awesome definition of faith, but that's just it. Its only a definition. With this faith that we have in our unseen Savior we have to take it and act upon it. In Galatians, we are reminded of the freedom we have been given through Christ. Jesus died on the cross for our sins, so that our chains may be broken, setting us free from our own, selfish undying ways. Paul writes in Galatians 5: 5-6 "But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope...the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." James asks us what good is our faith without any deeds? We've all heard the proverbial cliche "if you're going to talk the talk, you're going to have to walk the walk." But its true. No longer can we just sit around, acting Casual Christian. We have to get out of our front row seats and become part of the show. We have to dig deeper, sing louder, work harder, get dirtier, all in action for the glory of God. Because sooner or later, we all come to realize that words are never enough.
I wrote this just about a year ago. It rings more true today, than ever.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
More than just a day off
Sorry that I have failed to keep up with my blog, lately. It's been such a crazy time, and there has been so much on my heart that I wanted to share, but couldn't. And now, I finally can.
DISCLAIMER: This has NOTHING to do with the state of our relationship. I love Daniel with my whole heart, and the wedding is more than for sure on in December.
To skip all the gory details, Dan and I have resigned from our position, well his position as Youth Minister. Despite what many people think, or hear, or say-this is not a rash decision. We have prayed, and prayed, and sought wise council, prayed some more and tried to "work this out" the best we could, in every angle that we could, for months now. As we have made this decision together, we feel that it is time for us to move on. We resign with sad, sad hearts. But, as a new, young family, we have to do what is best for us. We have been so bruised and broken (spiritually, mentally, physically) that we are not adequately equipped to serve in a leadership position at this time. We love each other, we love our students, we love our leaders, and we love our church family unconditionally. Unconditionally. There just comes a time when you have to say "enough is enough. I need to get myself right, before I can lead others." With resigning, we leave with no other opportunity to accept. Clearly, we feel this strongly about our decision that we must leave our position with only 4 months left before our wedding. I stand behind my husband to be, fully, in this decision and can only ask for prayers for our next step.
The part that saddens me most about leaving is that we are spiritually broken. I mean, I've only been "in the ministry" for a year and a half now, but I can see how minister are so easily broken. There are no harsh words in this for our former church, none what so ever. This happens all the time, in many churches, all over the world. What do I mean by "this?" I mean ministers ministering to the church and its people, but not being ministered to. What most people don't see in ministry is that its more than a Sunday morning job. Its more that just being in the office Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. We don't get to come home and turn it off. Sorry, but that just doesn't happen. On good days, we have students and sponsors at our house just hanging out, playing video games, and eating good food. On bad days, we are talking to students and families that have a lot more going on when we realize. And stuff like that, the good and the bad stays with you for awhile. That being said, us ministers are people too. What if we have a bad day? What if we are struggling with something? When do we get to worship? When do we get to sit down, and listen to and appreciate a good sermon. To be honest with you, Dan and I don't get to worship, together or alone ever on Sundays just because we are so busy. Sunday is no sabbath for a minister. Don't get me wrong. We do what we do to bring all glory and honor to God, for Christ's Kingdom, and there is no one we would rather be working for. We humbly and whole-heartedly serve and awesome, amazing God. But we don't get fulfilled. Too often in churches we see ministers being burnt out from serving. Shouldn't that throw up a red flag here? A persons relationship with God is personal, but it takes a community to really get that relationship thriving. Even as ministers, we need a break, we need a sabbath, we need a community to surround us, and lift us up, and give us words of wisdom, and time to heal and pray and learn and love in a way that will keep our ministry healthy. And I'm not just talking about a day off. I'm talking some real, solid Jesus time, among other people (since we are JUST PEOPLE TOO) to build strong relational ties with God, with our spouses, and with each other. Its so vital.
Prayers for Dan and I this week as we get closer and closer to the best and most important day of our life! We have so much change coming, and its all positive. Dan had his interview at Papa John's today (classy, I know, but we gotta do something!) and we think it went really really well. We also have a few other big things happening within the next couple weeks so please please please pray hard on those!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My "30 things"
You think it would be easy to come up with 30 things about yourself. There are the obvious ones: hair color (blonde), eye color (blue), height (yea, right). The list could go on. But I wanted this to mean more than just the trivial information anyone can get out of you. I went just a little deeper. It was harder than I thought it would be. In the end, it actually turned out to be really cool.
What are 30 things about you? You just might learn something new :)
1. I am marrying the most incredible man in December.
2. I am learning daily what it means to be a Godly wife, and a Youth Minister's wife, at the same time.
3. I currently got accepted into USF St. Petersburg Campus.
4. My major is Elementary Education.
5. My sister, Andrea, and I are best friends.
6. My most prized possession is my engagement ring, and soon to be wedding ring.
7. I'm addicted to coffee. And chocolate.
8. I should be on a diet for my wedding, but I'm not.
9. I need more wholesome, Christian, age-appropriate relationships. I love our students, but I need some grown up time.
10. I work at Chick-fil-A.
11. I can't wait to have a professional career. Or a stay-at-home mom. In due time.
12. Big changes are happening in our lives soon.
13. I'm organized when I choose to be.
14. I enjoy my afternoon naps.
15. I love my parents to no end.
16. I really look up to my future in-laws. They are awesome.
17. When Dan and I have kids (in like 10 years), we both want to have a little baby girl.
18. I miss college. I'm kinda excited to go back.
19. And then again, not so much.
20. I hope to be a positive influence to my fiance, and other people, everyday. Positivity is key.
21. I love my Mac.
22. Blue is my favorite color. Dan's is green. And we still want to have a baby girl. Haha
23. My favorite Bible verse is Hebrews 11:1
24. While that verse speaks of faith, I think you can apply it to love too.
25. I love being in love.
26. I can't wait to be married. People keep telling me that I'm settling down, and my life is getting boring, but I think our lives are just about to start.
27. I am not an animal lover.
28. In fact, I quite do not like animals at all.
29. One day, I want to live in a shack on the beach. Or in the mountains.
30. I am who I am, and I'm learning just who that is.
Monday, July 19, 2010
6 days and counting...
Its been an entire week since I've even been able to begin to think about blogging again. We've had such a busy week with all our students, its really ridiculous. BUT we love all of you!
This week we are getting ready to head to CIY MOVE. This is a huge event. An easy one, but still huge. This week will change these kids lives. Well, there's and mine. I love CIY. I've been every single year since I could go. And I'm so excited that I get to go again this year, but from a different perspective. I get to be "the youth minister's wife!" I love that I get to see what a week like this can and will do to kids. I mean, I've experienced it, I've lived it, but now I get to see what it did to me. I get to see the life change from an outside perspective. I love our students so much, every single one of them, and I'm really excited to see what they bring to the table next week.
This week I pray for the hearts of all the students and sponsors that are heading on this trip, that they may seek the Lord in all the right places, and that they would hear His voice calling you to follow Him, with a full and blesses heart.
This week we are getting ready to head to CIY MOVE. This is a huge event. An easy one, but still huge. This week will change these kids lives. Well, there's and mine. I love CIY. I've been every single year since I could go. And I'm so excited that I get to go again this year, but from a different perspective. I get to be "the youth minister's wife!" I love that I get to see what a week like this can and will do to kids. I mean, I've experienced it, I've lived it, but now I get to see what it did to me. I get to see the life change from an outside perspective. I love our students so much, every single one of them, and I'm really excited to see what they bring to the table next week.
This week I pray for the hearts of all the students and sponsors that are heading on this trip, that they may seek the Lord in all the right places, and that they would hear His voice calling you to follow Him, with a full and blesses heart.
Monday, July 12, 2010
There's No Greater Power than the Unconditional Love of Christ
There's no greater power than the unconditional love of Christ. That's what my baby preached on yesterday. He was amazing, as usual, and yes, I am a little biased. I love him so much, and I simply cannot wait to be his wife.
But I'm not here to rave about my awesome hubby-to-be, even if I could do that all day. I'm here to delve a little deeper into his sermon, and how it spoke to a situation we are personally struggling with. He used the story of the adulterous woman from John 8.
1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Dan's "big picture" was this: Do I throw rocks? We all can relate to the woman, bruised, beaten, broken-hearted, ridiculed, etc. We've all been chewed up and spat out by things of this world, and we feel the rocks and judgements that are being thrown at us. But have we ever considered that we throw rocks, too? Whether by word or action or deed, we have all "pointed the finger" at another, saying that they're wrong in their ways. Every single one of us has picked up a rock and thrown it at a brother or sister in Christ.
SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THIS? We show unconditional love to all around us. I know, I know. This is easier said than done. Its hard to love someone who is different from us, its hard to love someone who has done us wrong, but we need to LOVE!
For there is NO GREATER POWER than the unconditional love of Christ.
I'm not preaching to the choir here. I live this everyday. We are ministers. We have to deal with people of all shapes and sizes, 24/7-inside and outside of the church. We are teaching ourselves a valuable lesson. One that I am graciously learning with a humble heart. Today, I pray that God will open my heart to love other people, so that I may be a shining example of the great power of Christ's unconditional love.
But I'm not here to rave about my awesome hubby-to-be, even if I could do that all day. I'm here to delve a little deeper into his sermon, and how it spoke to a situation we are personally struggling with. He used the story of the adulterous woman from John 8.
1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
-John 8:1-11
Dan's "big picture" was this: Do I throw rocks? We all can relate to the woman, bruised, beaten, broken-hearted, ridiculed, etc. We've all been chewed up and spat out by things of this world, and we feel the rocks and judgements that are being thrown at us. But have we ever considered that we throw rocks, too? Whether by word or action or deed, we have all "pointed the finger" at another, saying that they're wrong in their ways. Every single one of us has picked up a rock and thrown it at a brother or sister in Christ.
SO WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT THIS? We show unconditional love to all around us. I know, I know. This is easier said than done. Its hard to love someone who is different from us, its hard to love someone who has done us wrong, but we need to LOVE!
For there is NO GREATER POWER than the unconditional love of Christ.
I'm not preaching to the choir here. I live this everyday. We are ministers. We have to deal with people of all shapes and sizes, 24/7-inside and outside of the church. We are teaching ourselves a valuable lesson. One that I am graciously learning with a humble heart. Today, I pray that God will open my heart to love other people, so that I may be a shining example of the great power of Christ's unconditional love.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Chasing what Matters
This morning, while I was driving to Tampa to pick up my bridesmaid dresses, I was listening to Spirit FM and the Weekend 22 Countdown where I heard one of the band members of the Christian band Revive talking about their new song "Blink." The guy so eloquently stated that the message behind the song, and really their entire album was "...the art of living in the moment, while keeping an eye on the finish line." If I could remember that guys name, I would tell you, but whoever he is, he has got it so right. At one point in our life, we have all decided to "live in the moment" and not worry about tomorrow, and all those other cliches' we're so used to hearing; but I think we might have missed the point. Its true we should live our lives one day at a time, but I think our even bigger picture is to live life in the moment everyday, while still keeping an eye on the end prize--whether that prize be a new job, marriage, having kids, finishing a book, saving up for those super cute pair of boots, or ultimately the prize of eternal life. We should chase what matters. And in chasing what matters, we should ultimately live life in the moment all the while bringing Glory to our Mighty God. He is our Divine Creator, making us in His own image, and he wants and craves and deserves our praises to Him. He wants us to chase after Him, as if He is the only thing that matters. We can do this in our everyday lives! We can dress modestly, we can love the unloved, we can do a many multitude of things. However, I think prayer is the ultimate gift of praise our God can receive. My FAVORITE thing to do with my fiance is pray together. Our relationship strengthens after every single prayer. My challenge to you today is to pray. Pray a prayer of praise to our Lord. Thank him for all the blessings He has bestowed upon you, and praise Him for the glorious work of art He has created in you, and your family. Pray that He will fill your heart with a light for chasing what matters. Because in the end, our Heavenly Father is all that matters.
♥M
Friday, July 9, 2010
Welcome Back!
As you can see, the first and last time I posted was is January... So much for keeping up with my blog. But, here I am to start again, and hopefully this time it will stick. Jill *convinced* me that I should start again. Blogging and journaling has been such a good outlet for her, and I can see that she has grown so much from blogging, and I think it might do the same for me.
You can check out her blog, here.
I'm excited about this. And I'm excited that I got my blog to look really cool. Well, maybe not super cool, but at least Dan and I look good. Haha.
Pray for us. We're looking at some big changes in the upcoming future. Marriage is going to be a huge change. But we're so so excited for this next step. My Google countdown says that we have 155 days left until the BIG DAY! December 11th, 2010..here we come!
-In His Name-
You can check out her blog, here.
I'm excited about this. And I'm excited that I got my blog to look really cool. Well, maybe not super cool, but at least Dan and I look good. Haha.
Pray for us. We're looking at some big changes in the upcoming future. Marriage is going to be a huge change. But we're so so excited for this next step. My Google countdown says that we have 155 days left until the BIG DAY! December 11th, 2010..here we come!
-In His Name-
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